According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize