They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
