There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
