I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
