I don't think brook has ever known best
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.