ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.