I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
