I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
