I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
