ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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