You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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