from now on my penis is your penis
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
3 2 1 whiskey