I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
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Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?