if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize