Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
