Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.