he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
