after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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