Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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