You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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