on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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