we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
