What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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