Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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