There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
