I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
