3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
