he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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