Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize