you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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