And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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