You really coming over, don't trick.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
