Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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