Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
