do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
