i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
