imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
