"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.