Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
