im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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