I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
