i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
