Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
