I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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