I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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