i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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