i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Less talking, more tequila
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
