My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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