Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
