Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
