Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
