last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
