My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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