do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
are you so shy because you have an std?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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