her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
handjob tips. give me some.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
