Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
