I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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