My friends, they love my intelligence
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize