You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize