Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
