you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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