During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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