Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
